Elsa & FredDVD - 2014
From the critics
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I'm going to the store. Anything you'd like in particular?
-Yeah, to be 30 years younger and have a prostate the size of a peanut. Thank you, Laverne.
Okay, I'll check it out. See what they can do.
-"I decided to invest in our happiness. I'm sure that you'll make things work, in one way or another. One more thing, Lydia. I believe that I wasn't...I wasn't a very good father to you. And I'm sorry. Really, if in the next life, I'm still your father, I'll try to make it up to you., Dad."
-We're going to die of pneumonia!
Would this be such a terrible place to die? ... He caresses her with his eyes. He adores her as if she were... a goddess. And then, it's just the two of them... all alone in the world. The sound of the water disappears. ... My love, my Marcello, I'm going to confess something now. I love you more than I have ever loved any person. Thank you.
But, Fred, if a story has to be sad, it has to be really, really sad. I couldn't settle for a so-so sad story.
If we're going to trust each other, you have to trust me without proof.
She is not good for you. Look at you. You're all red.
-So I'm red. So what?
Well, at your age...
-Oh, at my age, I can't be red? What would you prefer? Green? Blue?
-Did she tell you about her...her dream of going to Rome?
To the fountain?
-Yeah, yeah. But she told me that you didn't want to take her there. But she wanted to get into the fountain, for crying out loud! And dress up like... What's-her-name? And I had to dress up like that other guy in the movie. It was madness. And for what? What? To get arrested?
Let's say it's not very promising for a person of her age.
-She'll die? We all die eventually.
You know, once upon a time someone told me over an absurd restaurant bill, that some things are priceless.
Mom is pissed off at everything. She yells all the time. Sometimes, I want to strangle her.
-Yeah, well, you can't now. You've got to wait to get your revenge when she's old. She's doing that to me now.
Why does she want revenge?
-Well, I don't know if I was a good dad. I don't think I was.
I was busy doing other things. It's just the beginning, but I think...
-Well, maybe it's friendship.
You think? But I never did understand when friendship ends and love begins. But, in my opinion, if it's love...It's so much so swift! And then you... and then you tell yourself it's friendship.
He said, "what you should do is mock death, and then she will be afraid of you." You're not afraid of death. Fred, you're afraid of life.
How adorable. Even after all these years, they still want to fight and make up.
You're acting like a baby.
-I'll take that as a compliment. Now, if you'll excuse me.
So, Fred, tell me, what... what have you gotten out of life?
-Oh, 40 years of telecommunications, a bum marriage, a ball-breaking daughter, who I'm fond of, occasionally, one or two friends, and that's my 80 years.
Tell me, with all your 80 years being on this earth, how much did you laugh?
Were you happy?
-I don't know. I never asked myself. Well, you know, we were just normal, like other people. Unhappy.
-No, I don't like parks. They make me feel I'm already in the cemetery. I never took my daughter when she was a kid. I never took a dog when I had a dog.
Old women are old, young girls are young, and we... we're just trash.
The fact that even you have a love life, gives me hope for my future.
-She's a woman with issues.
All women have issues. What kind of issues?
Fred. ... Oh. I found the door open. I came for your memorial service, but I see you're quite active.
-Oh, yeah. Peak activity time around here.
Well, thank you.
For inviting me to sit down. I can read your mind.
-Please sit down.
So, what's going on in the world?
-Well, nothing. It's all nonsense.
Then why are you reading the newspaper?
-I read the obituaries. I like to catch up on my friends.
It's a special, precious thing, letting someone help you. And you asked me. Fred, the path to life is long.
-Who said that, Gandhi? Mother Teresa of Calcutta? Rocky Balboa?
No, I said it, Fred.
Fred, would you like me to show you the path to life?
-If it makes you feel better.
Well, it's baby steps. One step after the other. One, two, three. Baby steps.
Do we have an age limit?
-Not officially. We just don't like 'em croaking on the dance floor. Tell her we're filled up.
Oh, Fred, you know, life is long, and when you've lived so many years, and you do things,
and you don't think when you're doing them, they matter all that much, and then, one day you wake up and you realize you managed quite a bit, and so much so you can't even remember it all.
-Oh, I remember it all. Home, work. Work, home.
I don't care about technique. I mean, so-so will do.
-Excuse me. I don't do anything so-so. I never have, until now. Now I'm old, everything is so-so. I much prefer lying in bed than to waste energy obtaining results that I know will always be mediocre, and that goes for walking, talking, thinking. Every day, worse. Now, if you'll excuse me, thank you for dinner. Thank you for your help. Just going to need a
little rest now. In peace.
Only the dead rest in peace.
-Are you familiar with the living dead? Good. I am that rare case of the dead living. I seem alive, but I'm already dead.
I don't think you don't need anything. Everybody needs something.
A bear with angel wings. Artichoke with a tender heart. A porcupine... with the sweetness of a panda.
Then why is he in bed all day?
-I don't know. He's tired.
No, no. Something must be done, because you can't just let a man just ... him... cast himself out like that.
-Well, I tried, but you know, he's kind of stubborn.
Stubborn? Oh. That's a challenge.
-Jack...what makes you think you can call me "Dad"? I mean, you've been in the family for 15 years. Even you should have understood by now that I'm not your father.
-Well, thank God that's over.
You don't thank God. You thank me.
Why are you always lying in bed like that?
-Why are you always on your feet? Where do you go? Why bother running around in circles like that? It's pointless. I'm tired, so I'm in bed.
-You wouldn't, by any chance, be confusing me with some elderly, mental defective? I can look after myself very well, thank you, but I cannot have a random person in the house.
But Dad, you can't do everything alone. I'll worry.
-Now, look. Let's get one thing straight. I'll stay off your back if you stay off mine.
Fine with me. What does "stay off your back" mean to you?
-Well, it means if you want to keep working here, anything my daughter tells you to do, you don't do.
- Do you have children?
Yes. A baby girl. She lives in Pittsburgh with my sister.
-... Just enjoy her while she's still small
and hasn't picked some idiot to marry.
Well, I'm a widow, too. 27 years. And you?
The first year's the most painful, but you'll get over it.
-I'm already over it. We hated each other.
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